People Aren’t Born Racist

In this world there are people of many different colored skin tones.  You’ll find shades from pale as a ghost to black as night and literally everything in between when you’re looking at skin tones.  And, even though we are all the same under our skin – the color of the skin you’re in can be made into a huge ordeal.  But why?

I fully understand that the white man of the past treated the black man of the past in a manner which is absolutely appalling.  I read stories of how slaves were treated and I can’t help but wiggle inside my skin.  It’s absolutely awful.  Unacceptable.  Uncalled for.  Horrible.  I sincerely apologize from the bottom of my heart to all of the blacks of the past – those who were slaves – for the actions of the whites of the past.  Thankfully, we no longer live in slave times.  Blacks are no longer considered property and are now free.  Which is a huge step forward from where they used to be.

And yet, it seems that racism still abounds.  But let me let you in on a secret – you aren’t born racist.  It’s something that you have to learn.  You might learn it from the experiences that you face in life.  You might learn it from the television shows that you watch.  You might be taught it by those who you look up to.  There are, unfortunately, many different ways to become racist.  Racism flows in both directions – whites against blacks and blacks against whites.

I am white.  My family is white.  But, I have friends who are both white and black.  I do not judge people by the color of their skin.  I determine whether someone is worth befriending based upon their actions, their words, their attitudes.  Yes, there are black people that I don’t like – but there are also white people that I don’t like – and none of those decisions are based at all on their appearances.  I am raising my kids in the same manner – or at least doing my best and so far it seems to be working.  They have white friends, and black friends.  To them, a child is a child and they don’t worry about the color but focus on the character of the person.

Unfortunately, not everyone teaches their children in such a manner – and it absolutely breaks my heart.  Today was a special day for Bug and me.  Bug has an American Girl doll.  She has Addy.  If you know about American Girl dolls, you may know that Addy is a black girl from back in the slave days.  Bug loves her Addy doll.  She plays with her and takes care of her right alongside of her other doll April, who is white.  She doesn’t treat one differently than the other – and normally chooses Addy over April (black over white) if she can only have one doll with her.  Anywhoo, Addy’s hair had become rather unruly so today, for the first time ever, Bug got to go to the American Girl Store.  We took Addy and gave her the full spa treatment.  She got her skin cleaned, her nails painted and her hair brushed out and styled.  She is as beautiful as new again!  When we left the American Girl Store, we headed to Walmart.  Bug asked if Addy could come inside with her, and I agreed.  When we were standing in line at the checkout, I overheard an absolutely heartbreaking conversation.

It was Walmart checkout – which means long lines – and Bug was being her typical self – daydreaming.  (Thankfully because it would have been absolutely awful for her to hear such a comment!)  In the lane next to us, a few people ahead, was a mother and daughter of African decent.  The girl pointed at Bug and asked her mom, “Why does she have a doll like me?”  The mother turned around to see what her daughter was talking about and replied, “Because that’s what white people do.  They take our stuff.”

I’m not saying that racism doesn’t truly exist out there.  I am not saying that blacks get a fair deal every time.  I am not trying to condemn the black people in any way by this post.  I am just wondering – why such hatred shared at such a young, impressionable age?  My daughter choosing to have a black doll is a sign that she doesn’t care what color your skin is.  It’s a wonderful thing that it doesn’t phase her that her doll is different than she is – because she doesn’t focus on that.  I take great pride in the fact that she doesn’t bat an eye at color at all.  It has nothing to do with belittling people of color or taking that which doesn’t belong to us.  It is about acceptance and love regardless of color.

I wish the girl would have asked me that question.  My response would have been so much different and sent such a different message to that young mind.  Since at the moment, due in part to not wanting my daughter to think for a moment that her having a black doll is wrong, in part not wanting to cause a scene or fight in the store, and in part due to my cowardice I stood there and acted as though I hadn’t heard the conversation that wasn’t directed at me – I want to take a moment here and answer that little girls question.

My daughter has a doll like you, because you are like her.  Just as she has blue eyes and my
other daughter has brown eyes, she has white skin and you have black skin, but yet you are both still young ladies.  You have two eyes, two ears and one heart.  Color doesn’t make a difference sweetheart.  She loves that doll because it is beautiful.  You are beautiful.  Does that make sense?

I wish that racism wasn’t real.  I wish that everyone was truly equal in every way.  But if we want to see a change happen, we have to be that change.  If we raise up our children thinking that everyone different than them is out to get them, that is how they will think when they are grown – and the cycle will just keep going.  We have to stop it.  We have to stand up for change.  We have to truly accept people no matter what their skin color is.  Racism has to stop!

I pray that this world will open up its eyes and realize that we are all children of God.  He loves each and every one of us and has created us just the way He wants us to be.  God gave us a variety of hair color, eye color and skin color because he wanted each one of us to be unique.  None of those are reasons that we should judge each other.  Children aren’t born looking at color and thinking of it as a diving line.  When they ask their questions about why we are different – our answers need to reflect love for all colors, not just our own.

I should have spoken up tonight.  I should have spoken to that little girl.  I should have let her know that there is another side to that story – one which is driven by love and not hatred.  That is the only way that this world will change.  I messed up tonight – so I am sharing this with you in hopes that next time I won’t.  In hopes that if you are ever faced with a similar situation, that you won’t.  We have to stand up for love for everyone.  We have to be the change that we want to see in the world.  I pray that I will never face this type of situation again, that you’ll never face it – and I also pray that if we do, that we will have the courage to take a stand for love.  I hope that you’ll pray the same too.  No matter what color your skin is – God loves you and so do I!